Top ten things you would hear on NJ Transit trips between Metropark and NY Penn Station
10) On a snowy day with temperatures well below freezing, as you patiently wait for your train at the station you will hear the PA system go "Ding Ding - The next train to NY arriving at this station is delayed by 30-40 minutes. NJ transit apologizes for the inconvenience" (and they imply, "freeeze to death")
9) On a crowded 757 AM train, packed like a sheep van, you have an oversized NJ transit conductor collecting tickets and asking you to "Step, aside please, conductor coming through" - good luck surviving that
8) Conversation between two guys in the seat next to you (one has just landed). Say's the guy who has just arrived - "This weekend, I thought I will explore the US, what do you suggest?" You then hear the other respond "I suggest you take your family to Oak tree road"
7) Two guys sitting in the seats adjacent to the two in #8 above - One says "What chapathi atta do you normally buy? We bought xyz brand at Subzi Mandi yesterday, they had the buy 1 get 1 free offer" The other guy goes "Really? I've got to go to Subzi Mandi today!"
6) Looking for a seat, you come across a 3 seater occupied by 2 oversized gentlemen who are themselves barely squeezing in - you may prefer to stand rather than be in stuck in the middle with them, but at Newark station, there will be an ambitious desi guy who would point to the little gap in the middle between the 2 healthy gentlemen and say - "Ah, yexcuze me, can I sit there in the middle seat, pleach"
5) Walking to the next car, still looking for a seat, you may be lucky enough to find a 2 seater occupied by 1 desi speaking on his cellphone. So, you go there to use the empty seat only to hear the guy say "Saary, but this seat is taken - my friend is joining me, he is just getting into the train". He then screams into the phone "Ra da de, jaldi ra"
5) Walking to the next car, still looking for a seat, you may be lucky enough to find a 2 seater occupied by 1 desi speaking on his cellphone. So, you go there to use the empty seat only to hear the guy say "Saary, but this seat is taken - my friend is joining me, he is just getting into the train". He then screams into the phone "Ra da de, jaldi ra"
4) Five to Ten minutes into a conversation with a new acquaintance (desi) on the train you would be asked - "Are you on a H1 Visa?" The rest of the conversation depends on your response to that question - yes on NJ Transit, every desi is an immigration expert
3) The guy/girl in the seat next to you, yes the one who has been staring at you inquisitively will ask - "Are you from Bombay?"
2) If you did acknowledge or respond to the question in #3 above, about 5 minutes later you can expect the same guy/girl to say- "Can I borrow your cell phone please? my battery just went dead and I need to make an urgent call" (for the uninitiated, by giving out your cellphone you have just invited yourself to the Amway network)
2) If you did acknowledge or respond to the question in #3 above, about 5 minutes later you can expect the same guy/girl to say- "Can I borrow your cell phone please? my battery just went dead and I need to make an urgent call" (for the uninitiated, by giving out your cellphone you have just invited yourself to the Amway network)
And now, ladies and gentlemen, let the drums roll for the # 1 in the list
1) One guy from Andhra to another who is awaiting his green card - "Pyaapers Wochunda?" Very loosely translated, he is enquiring if the paperwork on his friend's GC is complete, but there is a lot more depth to that question and you can expect to hear code words such as 485, EAD, EB2 etc. etc.
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