Obama and my workplace

Well, the fascination and celebrity status provided to Mr.Obama seems to continue. I am not sure how he is handling the zillion problems he needs to address, but he sure is getting a lot of air time for anything he says or does (feels like an overdose sometimes). 

NBC just announced a 2 day show called "INSIDE THE OBAMA WHITE HOUSE: BRIAN WILLIAMS REPORTS"

It is going to be aired on June 2 & 3 and supposedly Williams is going to take viewers Behind-the-Scenes for an Insider's Look at a Day in the Life in the Obama White House. This is not a new show, I believe NBC has been doing this for the last 40 years and has aired 6 such shows with earlier presidents. So this is not exactly one of those celebrity style paparazzi inspired show for the tabloids - this is going to be some serious stuff. 

Anyway, when I heard about this show and since this is Obama we are talking about, I thought to myself "What's the first thing Obama is going to say to Brian Williams when they meet at the White House?" 

And here's how I think it would go :

Brian Williams : "Good Morning Mr. President, it is an honor to be here"

Mr.President : "Good Morning Brian, how ya doing brother? Welcome to my crib"

Don't get it? Well then you need a crash course in hip-hop lingo. Now, I work in Brooklyn - the hip-hop capital of the world. This is the place of birth for Jay-Z, Mos-def, 50 cent and many other hip-hop stars. So I can tell you that 'crib' is a common word and is a cooler synonym to the word 'home'

I have been riding the subway to downtown Brooklyn and generally hanging out in the area for the last 5 years, so here are some others words from that cool lingo :

'Bounce' - to leave
'Brotha' - meaning Brother as in "how's it going, brotha"
'Chillax' - to relax and chill 
'Chrome' - could mean a gun or refer to car wheel rims
'Crank' - no idea what it means, but I hear it a lot
'Hood' - reference to the place you are from
'How Ya doing' - most common phrase used as a greeting, heard all over NY
'Tripping' - meaning going crazy
'Pop' - could mean money or to knock someone down
'Wassup' - a greeting

A word of warning: Run when you hear both 'chrome' and 'pop' in a single sentence...you just don't want to be in that hood, brotha !

How can you tell its a Desi ?

Question : You are driving on the highway. In the lane next to you is a car with 4 people, all of them smiling at you. You are trying to figure out their nationality. How can you tell if they are all Desis?

Answer : Quiet simple actually. Wait until the car is looking to change lanes - if that was a Desi car, you will see all the 4 heads turn to look behind for other cars in the blind spot , if just the driver looked behind, then definitely not a Desi car...

Desi tips for saving $$$ - Tip # 2

Ok, so it's summer almost and hey guess what? The Memorial day long weekend is here!  For Desi's that have been here for a while (over 2 years is the guidance), you probably have your parents visiting you. 

It is of utmost importance to complete atleast three of the top desi vacation spots in the US with your parents. 

If you live on the east coast, here is the typical drill around this time of the year. You will have to visit the following places.

1) Niagara Falls - it is pilgrimage spot with an experience almost as holy as a visit to a Tirupathi

2) Washington DC - ok, it is the capital city and all that but the biggest attraction is the museums are free macha !

3) S V Temple - while there is no dearth of temples in India, hey this one is in Americya, dude !

Then there are other spots you will find only on a desi AAA map, but regardless you will need a good camera to take those Rajnikanth ishtyle pics and send them back to uncle/aunty/cousins/orkut page, right? 

So here is another great tip to saving you money on these trips

THOU SHALT GO TO THE NEAREST BEST BUY TO GET A NEW CAMERA

 

You ask why? It is vyery vyery simple logic, ra.  At Best Buy you are most certainly going to get the latest and fanciest cameras, but that is not the wonly reason. Technology is changing so rapidly, the camera you buy this summer is obsolete before fall ! And you do have a friend who picked a $400 Canon and was showing off, until Canon came out with a newer version within 3 months and then he couldn't show off anymore. 

Yes? So here's what you do - pick a nice decent camera at Best Buy, but DO NOT lose the receipt. Take this camera with you on vacation, use it all you want to, and within the 30 day return period, go back to Best Buy and say "Sorry, this is not what I needed, it does not meet my expectations" . Simple, eh? return camera, get refund and repeat same on next vacation ! 

Total Savings -  Yeverything (you didn't spend a penny, remember?)

Howzatt, macha?

P.S - you do not have to return accessories such as SD cards because they are reusable (ah, now using IT concepts also, see we are vyery vyery smart)

Also read Tip # 1

Who let the rats out?

If you live long enough in New York, you get used to seeing crazy stuff going on. If there is nothing notable happening in the streets above, there is always some thing nuts happening in the subway below. Among all the other attractions that it boasts of, NYC is also famous for it's overgrown subway rats.I mean, these are super rats that scurry under moving trains and over high voltage tracks and could brave any weather. They have been there since the beginning of NYC's subways and will continue for ever even if  'Cloverfield' actually occurs.

So, while I am not surprised to see these huge rats when I'am waiting for my A or C train, I was quiet taken aback when this big guy chose to walk up to the street.

Rumour was that he was worried he may get the 'Swine Flu' from the dirty subways, so he came up for fresh air. But judging by the gentleman hat he is wearing, I think he was out looking for a job...

Desi tips for saving $$$ - Tip # 1

SHARE THY INTERNET WITH FELLOW DESI

You have just moved into a new neighbourhood and you are part of the 99% desis who enjoy living with their community (the rest 1% are just show-offs and confused).  You need to now call the cable company or your telephone provider to get an internet connection so you can download camera-print copies of the latest bollywood movies and watch IPL on free-streaming sites. THOU SHALT NOT CALL THE INTERNET COMPANY.  Read below for more..

There is a 10:1 chance that there are atleast 3 other desi homes within a 50 ft perimeter. Please knock on their door and enquire about any ongoing internet-sharing deals within that 50 ft perimeter. It is very simple - one of them already has a 6 Mbps broadband connection and is paying $50 per month. So, all you need to do is strike a deal with him to share his home wireless network with you and allow access to your laptop. Even with 4 of you sharing, you will still get atleast 1.5 Mbps each, but not pay more than $12 a month ! If wireless router not powerful, buy range extender for some $30 (one time cost)- you can later sell on Sulekha.com or even carry back to India to continue this imported concept !

Total Monthly Savings -  Approx $40 

Savings account end of the year - Approx $500 extra - Rs.20K dude - howzaat !!!

Why so Serious?

That is the tagline of last year's movie 'The Dark Knight' . This movie will always be in my list of all time favorites. I think Heath Ledger played the Joker better than anyone could ever have.  I also enjoyed the other characters, but to me the Joker was the highlight of the movie - Heath could not have made the character any darker or scarier - a well deserved Oscar indeed. What a shame that such great talent was lost at such a young age. 

While we are on the topic of movies and jokers, I recently watched the movie 'W' . Now, this is a movie about a different type of Joker - Mr.Bush himself.  This guy ruled for a good 8 years, making some stupid decisions and then some. Watching this movie will help us understand how and why "The Decider" had to do what he had to do. Enough said about it though - this is not a political post and anyway I cannot even vote in the US, so my opinion hardly matters.  However, the movie is very well done and I especially loved the very last scene, it pretty much summarizes his entire term in office. No spoilers here, so  you have to watch it to know what I'am talking about.

I have to say though, one thing what I did observe is that Mr.Bush's term coming to end and Mr.Obama taking over was not exciting news for everyone. In fact one particular section was almost left unemployed because of this change at the White House. They were the the comedy clubs and the late night show hosts like Jay Leno , Dave Letterman etc. Yes, Jan 20th 2009 was a pretty dark day in their careers. There could be no more George Bush jokes, no more digs at 'The Decider', nobody else that they could 'misunderestimate' , no more Bushisms to entertain the late night TV watchers when their 'childrens' were sleeping.

There is always a silver lining though,  rumors are that we will have a replacement joker in the new administration, he is not the President , but close enough - goes by the name Joe Biden - he is keeping the comedians busy off late.

So here, as we regret the moving out of the most entertaining President the world has probably ever seen, I thought I will post some of the all too famous quotes of the great hero.  

Disclaimer : There is no copyright violation here, these are Bush's words - his and his only and I claim no ownership rights over them. Also, I have picked these from other websites

On the recession

"One of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people's money to help prevent there to be a crisis." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

"I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

"In terms of the economy, look, I inherited a recession, I am ending on a recession." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

"I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 16, 2008

On his term in the White House

"You know, I'm the President during this period of time, but I think when the history of this period is written, people will realize a lot of the decisions that were made on Wall Street took place over a decade or so, before I arrived in President, during I arrived in President." --George W. Bush, ABC News interview, Dec. 1, 2008

"I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 12, 2008

"He was a great father before politics, a great father during politics and a great father after politics." --George W. Bush, on his father, George H.W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 12, 2008

"Yesterday, you made note of my -- the lack of my talent when it came to dancing. But nevertheless, I want you to know I danced with joy. And no question Liberia has gone through very difficult times." --George W. Bush, speaking with the president of Liberia, Washington, D.C., Oct. 22, 2008

...And some other classics

"But oftentimes I'm asked: Why? Why do you care what happens outside of America?" --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 26,2008

"I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 26, 2008

Many more can be found here - this guy will be dearly missed

Towards making you smarter - we owe it to you

As an IBMer my job is to constantly promote my company's products and solutions. The latest push from IBM is for a 'smarter planet' and I think everyone should know what it means. So let me try and do my part to help everyone understand it

You see, at IBM we are all smart people and we are trying to get the rest of the world to be as smart as us - we are trying to solve your problem of being dumb. Earlier we had 'Solutions for a small planet' but the planet ain't small anymore. We have over 6 billion people and almost an equal number of computers - each competing to be smarter. Then we had the 'on demand' era but nobody demanded smartness the way we expected. Now, we have got the computers to become smart, yet you non-IBM mortals are still not smart enough.

 So with this new innovative approach to building 'a smarter planet' we really hope to make you smart.

The thought process is simple - if we succeed, you will all be living on a smarter planet with only smart people in it and we would have made it happen ! On the other hand if we fail, it would only be because you were not smart enough to catch up with us.

Either way, what we are trying to say is that we ibmers are smart people. Never mind...

Disclaimer: This post Not paid for by IBM (and I didn't expect any). But, if you are my manager and are reading this, I really  wouldn't mind a raise

Chilli bhajji - well done

If you have ordered it yourself or been at the restaurant when someone on your table ordered a steak, you might have heard the waiter ask "How would you like it done" The typical choices offered usually are "Rare" , "Medium" or "Well Done". The choice made is an instruction to the chef on how long the steak is to be cooked (In some restaurants, a response of "Well Done" might put the customer into the "what a woos" category).

Anyway, I'd like to share an experience at this desi restaurant that does not serve steak. For me, every other Friday evening dinner is usually a biryani from our favourite local Andhra restaurant "Hyderabadi Biryani House". I personally feel that there is nothing else that can follow a couple of evening drinks like a Biryani and I must say this guy makes one of the best. And for those who claim that Biryani is best only if it is is meat based, you should try the Vegetable Biryani here, it will make you drool for a long time. This place is also responsible for giving me the infamous 'Biryani Belly'.

My wife on the other hand does not have this 'fixed' Friday evening dinner choice. While she loves the biryani, she sometimes just gets the starters at this place and picks the main course elsewhere. One of the starters she particularly loves is the "Chilli Bhajji" (Hot Chilli Pepper Fritters). Now, this is another delicacy because they add some secret ingredients making this appetizer really addictive.

However, it so happened that on one of the days when we got home after picking the food she noticed that the chilli bhajji was still raw and undercooked. So, the next week, when we went back there and she wanted the same appetizer, she tells the guy at the counter that the last time she ordered this appetizer,it was not cooked well enough and that he should inform his chef about it. 

He says "Not a problem ma'am" , opens the door to the kitchen and yells to the chef "Hey, one order chilli-bhajji's - WELL DONE"

And that was when we realized that ordering chilli bhajjis here is like ordering a steak - you have to specify "WELL DONE" if you prefer them to be fully cooked. The last time we had not specified this and the chef had assumed we liked our chilli-bhajji to be "RARE" ....another lesson learnt 

NJ Transit Top Ten

Top ten things you would hear on NJ Transit trips between Metropark and NY Penn Station

10) On a snowy day with temperatures well below freezing, as you patiently wait for your train at the station you will hear the PA system go "Ding Ding - The next train to NY arriving at this station is delayed by 30-40 minutes. NJ transit apologizes for the inconvenience" (and they imply, "freeeze to death")

9) On a crowded 757 AM train, packed like a sheep van, you have an oversized NJ transit conductor collecting tickets and asking you to "Step, aside please, conductor coming through" - good luck surviving that

8) Conversation between two guys in the seat next to you (one has just landed). Say's the guy who has just arrived - "This weekend, I thought I will explore the US, what do you suggest?"  You then hear the other respond "I suggest you take your family to Oak tree road"

7) Two guys sitting in the seats adjacent to the two in #8 above - One says "What chapathi atta do you normally buy? We bought xyz brand at Subzi Mandi yesterday, they had the buy 1 get 1 free offer" The other guy goes "Really? I've got to go to Subzi Mandi today!"

6) Looking for a seat, you come across a 3 seater occupied by 2 oversized gentlemen who are themselves barely squeezing in - you may prefer to stand rather than be in stuck in the middle with them, but at Newark station, there will be an ambitious desi guy who would point to the little gap in the middle between the 2 healthy gentlemen and say - "Ah, yexcuze me, can I sit there in the middle seat, pleach"

5) Walking to the next car, still looking for a seat, you may be lucky enough to find a 2 seater occupied by 1 desi speaking on his cellphone. So, you go there to use the empty seat only to hear the guy say "Saary, but this seat is taken - my friend is joining me, he is just getting into the train". He then screams into the phone "Ra da de, jaldi ra"

4) Five to Ten minutes into a conversation with a new acquaintance (desi) on the train you would be asked - "Are you on a H1 Visa?" The rest of the conversation depends on your response to that question - yes on NJ Transit, every desi is an immigration expert

3) The guy/girl in the seat next to you, yes the one who has been staring at you inquisitively will ask - "Are you from Bombay?" 

2) If you did acknowledge or respond to the question in #3 above, about 5 minutes later you can expect the same guy/girl to say- "Can I borrow your cell phone please? my battery just went dead and I need to make an urgent call" (for the uninitiated, by giving out your cellphone you have just invited yourself to the Amway network)

And now, ladies and gentlemen, let the drums roll for  the # 1 in the list

1) One guy from Andhra to another who is awaiting his green card - "Pyaapers Wochunda?"  Very loosely translated, he is enquiring if the paperwork on his friend's GC is complete, but there is a lot more depth to that question and you can expect to hear code words such as 485, EAD, EB2 etc. etc.

Airplane diaries - Episode 2

Trip : Zurich to New York

Type of Plane : McDonald Douglas D-10/11 (the plane that has the engine on the tail)

Why I remember this flight :

While I should ideally remember this flight because it was the first trip to the US with my newly married wife, unfortunately I remember it for less exciting reasons. So, we board the plane and are greeted by the Captain who tells us that it is a beautiful day and we should have a nice and pleasant flight into New York. A little later he also introduces the passengers to a new pilot who is going to be his assistant for the flight. So far so good and after the usual safety instruction video is presented, we are all set to fly.

We taxi on to the main runway, the captain instructs the cabin crew to take their seats in preparation of take-off and the plane begins to accelerate. Quiet honestly, to me this has always been the most dreaded part of the flight journey - somehow the idea that a massive metal structure weighing a few tons has to defy gravity, lift off the ground and keep climbing to over 30,000 feet before it gets to the cruising altitude has always left me a bit nervous. I mean to be inside something that has so many moving parts all being held together by nuts and bolts is something to be concerned about. To be inside it at 30,000 feet as it battles the forces of nature is even more scary.

And I will tell you, what this 'new' pilot did, only reinforced my fears of an airplane take-off.

I remember my wife was by the window and I was in the aisle seat. As the wheels left the ground, we noticed that the plane was actually hurling itself towards the sky at a 90 degree angle, and I'am not kidding. The plane was literally vertical (almost like a rocket) and also moving at a real high speed. Through the window we could see the houses, streets and cars getting smaller and smaller which is normal, but the angle at which we could see them was really scary. My hands were all sweaty and I noticed that other passengers had turned white in their faces too.The plane did reach the safe cruising altitude a few tense moments later and I think I might have had a few extra shots of vodka just to calm my nerves.

As we approached our destination, it was a different experience. I think this was the first time the pilot was landing in the NY area. He simply couldn't hold the plane steady and it felt like he was doing a mid-air balancing act on an imaginary aerial rope.

The touchdown occurred after a little while (I have a strong feeling the main captain took over) and when it happened, there was an applause from the 300+ passengers on the plane !!!

So scary was the ride that, the pilot's team apologized to each and every passenger as they walked out (who were relieved to be alive)

:)

Airplane diaries - Episode 1

When I was a child, I always wanted to be an airplane pilot and loved anything and everything to do with airplanes. In fact, I remember forcing my mom into buying me a toy airplane on my 11th birthday - at that age, she obviously expected me to be asking for something like board games! but there I was going woosh..woosh with my plastic airplane (in hindsight it does feel stupid, but hey I was a child..). Well, today I am not an airline pilot and if my skills at Flight Simulator should be any indicator of the kind of pilot I would be, the world should probably thank my destiny for not allowing me to become one.

However, destiny couldn't keep me away from planes for too long. In my job I have had to travel a lot within the US and international. Travelling means that you spend a lot of time inside the aluminium tube (i.e the plane) or at the airport waiting for it.  And I have a few memorable  moments (some bizarre, some quiet ordinary) from my trips that I think are worth sharing through this blog

Episode 1

Trip : Cincinatti to Newark

Type of Plane : Embraer RJ145 (the little brazilian jet - you know, the kind that bounces in the air to a pigeons fart)

Why I remember this flight : 

Boarding is complete, the doors have been locked and everyone is seated with their belts fastened. I'am in seat 1B (just behind the cockpit) listening to my ipod and checking out the cute blonde flight attendant seated diagonally opposite to me. The captain proudly announces that our flight has been cleared for take off.  

We taxi smoothly for a while and then just before the plane gets to the main runway, it suddenly comes to a screeching halt ! If not for the seat belts, I would have found myself in the cockpit (at least partially fulfilling my dream of becoming a pilot).  The cute blonde flight attendant has a perplexed look on her face, so we figure that she is about as clueless as we are... 

A few seconds later, the phone next to her rings, she picks it and just listens. Then she pushes another button and on the PA she announces "Ladies and Gentlemen, the captain has detected a malfunction and has requested the services of a flight engineer, we will be ready for take off soon after this has been resolved..we apologize..blah blah blah"  

So, we patiently wait for the flight engineer and since I am in seat 1B, I get to see how the events unfold. About ten minutes later the flight engineer drives up to the plane and gets into it. He is dressed in his overhauls and carries a toolkit (he reminds me of Bob the Builder, I don't know why). At this point the cockpit door opens and I get to see the captain and the co-pilot. They are both looking at a yellow light on the dashboard that is blinking and as the engineer walks in they mumble something to him. I try poking my ears out and hear a few words such as "I think it is broken" , "I will try to reboot" and "not sure if that is safe". At this point I slowly begin to get nervous.I then see the pilot turn on/off a few switches, push/pull a lever and push some more buttons at the advise of Bob the builder. The yellow light continues to blink and the pilot uses the 'f' word and mutters something else.The three of them then turn around, look at us passengers with a confused look and close the cockpit door behind them! Now, I'am beginning to sweat.I want to get up and say that this is not helping at all.But I know I'am at their mercy now in this malfunctioning aluminium tube and don't want to distract them to make things worse. Anyway, I am privately hoping that they cancel this flight, take it back to the gate and put us on another one.I am prepared to wait at the airport however long it takes. 

After 15 agonizing minutes, I experience a deja vu - the phone rings, the cute blonde flight attendant picks it, listens, nods her head and finally pushes the PA button to let us in on the secret. She announces that the flight engineer has identified the problem to be a defective part that will have to be replaced. So, naturally the next thing I expect to hear is that we will be pulled back to the gate, deplaned and transferred to another one. Instead, she says that the engineer will drive back to the airline workshop to fetch a new part and we should be taking off soon after he replaces it ! I don't seem to like this idea and the guy beside me agrees - he looks equally nervous. 

After her announcement, the blonde flight attendant (she doesn't seem cute to me anymore) walks around the plane to check on the passengers. We ask her if everything is OK and if getting off this plane would be a better option. She smiles, looks at us as if we are labrador puppies and says there is nothing to worry, that it happens all the time and once the part is replaced, we will be good to go. I think to myself yeah right ! and what is the guarantee that the replaced part will not fail when we are at 20,000 feet! there can always be the first time, right? maybe we should not be putting this plane into the air until it is fully tested? 

Well, nobody seemed to care about what I thought anyway. Our Bob the builder returned with a replacement part a short while later.I saw the replacement part he was holding in his hand like a trophy - it was a small box with some wires popping out of it. He went into the cockpit mumbling again to the pilots, seemed to be doing something behind the door and then walked out wishing the pilots "Have a good flight guys" and I could swear that he looked at me and said "Best of luck"

A side note: I am a brave guy when it comes to roller coasters (for the record I have done Kingda Ka and Nitro at Six Flags, Kraken at Seaworld and Hulk at Universal Studios).  They don't scare me, in fact the taller they get the more excited I get. BUT, when it comes to flying I'am a bit more apprehensive - probably because once airborne, planes don't cling on to any rails unlike roller coasters. So, quiet understandably this whole episode made me pretty nervous and I was praying the entire trip back to Newark...

How did it end? Well, the plane took off after a 90 minute delay and those were the longest 90 minutes of my life..and after the plane took off, I think my heart stopped beating for the next 2 hours until it landed at Newark.  From that day on, I try not to sit in the front row where I might get a direct view of such events that "happen all the time". I've wised up and learnt that there is a lot of meaning to the saying "Ignorance is bliss"

I have a few more real life experiences while travelling that have given me the shivers and will post them when I get the time...

Dosa Nazi

If you have lived in the Edison/Iselin area or even visited it to get the 'community feeling', you probably would have visited or heard about this little south indian vegetarian restaurant called "Dosa Express" on Green St. As the name suggests, this place is famous for it's Dosas. I particularly love the Mysore Masala Dosa and I think the sambar here is just awesome and so is the fresh coconut chutney. 

However, this post is not about the exotic flavors of the crispy dosas on the menu, but about the entire experience at the restaurant. This 'Dosa Express' is run by a guy from Karnataka who will instantly reject any of your 'I'am also from Karnataka' overtures. It's like he doesn't want to be associated with anyone from his home state in India (may be because we may demand discounts).  At first glance, this guy will remind you of the hindi movie actor 'Jagdeep' (who played Surma Bhopali in the classic "Sholay").  As if that were not enough, he is assisted by his wife who can only be described by the title of this post (Seinfield fans will immediately get the drift).  She can be very initimidating and her cold look will make you feel like a dart board being bombarded with the 'No Dosa For You' darts (I'am pretty certain she uses her customer as target practice in a mental dart board game she is playing all the time)

As an architect by profession, I always believe that best practices and lessons learned should always be shared. Stephen Covey might have written the "Seven Habits" series, but they will never help you get your prized dosa. At this place, you don't buy a Dosa, you earn it !

So, for the brave ones looking to undertake a culinary adventure at 'Dosa Express', here are my "SEVEN RULES TO EARN YOUR DOSA" 

Rule # 1 - Be CLEAR about what you want to eat. READ the menu thoroughly, unnecessary questions are not appreciated. Asking the difference between a 2 layer and a 3 layer dosa may cost you the dosa - you are warned !

Rule # 2 - When you approach the lady to place your order, make sure you are READY and I mean absolutely certain about what you want to your order. Any changes to your order, rethinking, or fumbling will throw you to the back of the line (don't even try to argue that, you may not get your dosa at all)

Rule # 3 - Always keep the right amount of change, DO NOT ask if she accepts Credit card ! Offenders are punished with being sent to the back of the line. Repeat offenders may lose the privilege to order!

Rule # 4 - Be informed that once you pay, you will be handed a receipt that includes a number. That, my friend, is your ticket to the dream dosa - loose that piece of paper and you have lost your right to the dosa - NO arguments shall be entertained (even if you are the only customer and she knows that it was your order)

Rule # 5 - You might have paid, BUT the dosa becomes your own only by presenting the ticket mentioned in # 4 above. Now, also be aware that if your order is large enough, it may be split into multiple servings (for eg. idli/vadas may be given to you before the dosa). Please KEEP the receipt once you pick the part order - else be prepared to lose the rest of the order - no arguments shall be entertained (again, even if you are the only customer and she knows that it was your order)

Rule # 6 - When your order is ready (partial or complete), our Jagdeep look alike will yell your ticket number into a microphone that is amplified by a PA system (easily audible a few blocks away). At this point, don't faint, just walk calmly to the counter and get your order. DO NOT ask him questions like "Where is the other Dosa?".The worst thing to say is "This is not what I ordered". The response could be anything from Dosa in your face or sambar on your pants - I recommend you just pick whatever he gives you and enjoy it.

Rule # 7 - This is important. You are given one small bowl of sambar and an even smaller bowl of chutney with every order. Now, this is considered complementary, so NEVER EVER go back for more sambar. If you dare ask, you WILL be scolded like your parents never did, reminding you of them and also making you miss them more. Although it is difficult, try not to cry. Btw, crying doesn't help either.

All said and done guys, believe me the dosa here is worth every penny and every ounce of effort that goes into earning it. With this post I just shared a lighter moment as I recollect my experiences at this place which I still vouch makes the best dosas around here in New Jersey. 

I guess I can sum it up with this comment that another customer made privately to me as we were leaving after a nice breakfast - "Jagdeep bhai, 3 dollar ke dosa ke liye, itna naatak?" (So much drama for a $3 dosa !)

Look under S

We have this local desi video library - the kind where they buy 1 original dvd, make 15 'original copies' and rent each one for 2 bucks a day. The library rents out dvds amongst other things like selling fake pearls,imitation jewelery and phony phone cards...the guy who usually sits at the counter has some attitude (something tells me that he believes he looks like Sharukh, but that's for another blog).

Although it happened a while ago, I remember this incident very vividly. It was one of those lazy Saturday afternoons that my wife gets into the mood to watch the hindi oldie 'Satte pe Satta'. Not to disappoint her, we drive to this library (did I tell you it goes by the name 'Sound of Music'). She browses through the mess of DVDs in the shelf that are supposedly arranged in an alphabetical order but doesn't find it. After scouring through the entire section top to bottom, left to right she checks with one of the assistants who swears that they have that movie in the store but can't find it either. The assistant suggests that we inquire with his boss at the counter who has a computer that holds the secrets to many national treasures and possibly the DVD we are looking for too...

So, she goes to counter and asks our wannabe Sharukh if he can help find the DVD for 'Satte pe Satta' and gets a response in a seemingly arrogant tone - "Look under S..."

My wife, not the type to be at a loss of words when it comes to smart alecs, calmly responds - "Oh really?, I was looking under T, thanks so much for the refresher on English alphabets"

Somehow, I don't think our NJ version of Sharukh got the sarcasm....he still had the look on his face that said "How could you NOT figure that out? (to look for the movie under S)"

Well..what else can I say  :)

Coming to our taste...

I can never forget this guy from Andhra that we used to meet at the bus stop while waiting for the shuttle that took us to the train station.

Why? because something he said and the way that he said it was so amusing. And btw, I didn't hear this myself, it was narrated to me...and I still thought it was funny ;)

And this is the version I heard - 

One of the days at the bus stop, the desi crowd was debating the best restaurants in and around Woodbridge. This guy concluded that "Dosa Express" and "Alibaba Express" made the best pulav and biryani in the area. When the rest of the folks wanted to know why he thinks they are the best, he says - "you see, I'am from hyderabad and these are the only places that serve the biryani that is coming to our taste ", you've got to hear this in the right context to find it funny..... 

I for sure still use that phrase to jokingly express my liking towards any particular restaurant - I always say, "Baas, lets dine here, this is one place where the food is coming to our taste" 

:)